Booknotes: Gunn & Angelou

The Big Music (Kirsty Gunn)

+ made me consider footnotes in a literary way again. which ones I read; which I wanted to ignore. the guilt associated with not reading all the footnotes, papers, extra material. family began to equate with footnotes for me, particularly in the sense of past generations and extended. I wanted to slough off the lists of generations and pipers at times - perhaps Gunn wanted me to feel that way or am I attributing too much authorial control in thinking this? I felt like Callum: unsure. longing pervaded and unsettled me, particularly the longing for home. there were also nationalist niggles; it made me think about how I feel about/whether I think about/should I think or feel about the rural being equated with a true nationalism, or whether this was just one type of national response or experience or sense of being. the gaps were what really stood out - i love a good ellipses. so much was about what was left unplayed, unspoken, uncomposed. where those gaps lead. an overwhelmingly, achingly delicate and yet bold novel.


I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (Maya Angelou)

+ finished this just days before she died. it seemed so serendipitous. truthfully, it haunted me a bit. I had raved, raved, raved about it to anyone that would listen. and then. there seem to be a list of vague laudatory terms i could use to describe how i felt about this incredible woman after reading the first part of her autobiography: courage, strength, heart, persevering, intelligent; but all are inadequate. my admiration for her grandmother propelled consideration of other tenacious women who have been before us. i felt hugely under-experienced. a lot of catching up to do on living. there is nothing like her self-imposed muteness - this has followed me around ever since. that guilt and how speech is so intricately connected to worth and value. not to speak is used as protection, a barrier of safety. selective mutism (correct terminology). this book is a sharing of the whole heart in all its strength and capacity. the whole heart.